Friday, March 13, 2009

"One word...many facets"

1) Tonight, SAA Church: Stations of the Cross, 7 pm, with Eucharistic Adoration to follow. All are invited!!
2) DC ‘Hood vs. Washington Pats @ Verizon Center, Sunday, 2 pm. Go ‘Hood!!
In my Valentine’s Day post, “Dedicated to Love”, I included some reflections from the Pope’s first encyclical, “God is love” which focused on the different types of love. One blogger asked for “a clear cut definition between eros love versus filial love”. The following is a good description, especially for parents, of the different types of love. It comes from the website of the Diocese of LaCrosse, Wisconsin: “The Parent’s Place”. I encourage all bloggers to check out this site by clicking on today’s post.

“In today’s culture there is great misunderstanding about the true meaning of love. Part of the confusion stems from the fact that we have only one word to describe something that has many facets. Consider that in ancient Greek times, there were four words to describe love and each word depicted one aspect of human love.

Four Levels of Love

The first and most base level of love was called ‘eros’ or erotic love. Eros is the love of attraction. It is the recognition of something good and the desire to possess it. Within human relationships this aspect of love often takes the form of sexual attraction. However, it may also include elements of friendship that we find enjoyable or beneficial. If we only love others on this level, we run the danger of using others as objects rather than loving them as persons. However, eros can be healthy and good when mixed with higher forms of love.

The second facet of love in ancient Greek times was called filial love. Filial love is also known as familial love. It is the love shared within a family - between parent and child and among siblings. It is portrayed as “the happiest of loves” because it signified a “oneness” between people. Filial love is present when there is a strong sense of unity between individuals. Within the family, filial love develops when another child is born. At that time, the older sibling is called to share all that he or she has. (Up to that point, all the love from the parents has been focused solely on him or her. This can be a real wake up call for the oldest!) Little by little, the oldest will come to know genuine bond of oneness with the new sibling. This is filial love.

The third level of love in ancient Greek times was known as philios, or brotherly love. Philios was considered by the Greeks to be the noblest form of love until Christ came to teach us the perfection of love. It was considered the noble bond of friendship. It can best be defined as ‘willing the good of the other.’ This form of love is selfless in the sense that your concern is for the beloved before it is for yourself. Such love can bring great balance to eros and can enliven filial love.

The highest form of love is ‘agape’ love. Agape is the complete gift of yourself for the sake of the other. Jesus revealed agape love to us when He died on the cross to save us from our sins. For Christians, the cross is the sign of perfect love. Jesus challenges us to love as He loved - to love perfectly by making ourselves a complete gift to others. Agape love makes erotic love a selfless appreciation of the good. It perfects filial love, especially between spouses. It ensures philial love. Agape goes beyond just choosing what is good for others to being willing to sacrifice everything to secure the good for them. Agape is the goal of the Christian life. If you want your children to find true happiness, teach them to love completely and selflessly by making themselves a gift to others.”


At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much- this is a question I very much wanted answered.

I’d always considered “attraction” to be part of love that I understood to be Eros. To me, that meant physical. So, I was confused when I was “attracted” to people (particularly of the opposite sex) with whom I desired no physical relationship. I thought maybe I wasn’t being honest with myself or something. I know how stupid I sound, but I never have any of this defined for me and my concept of love has been a bit of a jumbled mess. For example, there is one man with whom I had a platonic relationship who was gay. He had no physical interest in me, and I had none in him, but I had a strong attraction to him that baffled me. I knew I loved him, knew I admired him, but the fact that I was actually drawn to him threw me. I could identify qualities in him that I loved and they appealed to me greatly. I thought there was something wrong with what I experienced, and as a result, I didn’t always treat him very well.

Before anyone else says it- I do know relationships between men and women who are not married need to be careful not to cross any lines. I’m not addressing any instances when I’ve come anywhere close to that.


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