Tuesday, February 12, 2008

"What a sweet thing to say"

1) “The Light is on for you” - Confessions will be heard every Wednesday during Lent from 6:30-8 pm in the Church.
2) 6:30 am Mass on Mondays and Fridays during Lent (in addition to the 8:30 daily Mass).
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“19 year old thoughts” recently posted the following insightful comment:


As a 19 year old college student, I periodically read this blog site. This is the first time I have responded to a post. After reading the debate on the approach to take when dealing with our teens and sex education, it occurred to me that parents have a really hard job. I have not been the easiest, most obedient teen in the world. Yet, I do not consider myself without morals or good judgment. And yes, I have heard that 19 year olds do not have enough worldly knowledge to make good decisions. And yes, I have made mistakes, but who hasn’t? I think our capacity to make good decisions, is often underestimated.

Where do parents draw the line on what to and what not to teach? Will the approach used for me work with my siblings? Is there really a right way to teach, to guarantee that I will think and act like you, the teacher, think I should?

I am grateful for several things:

My parents, despite their differences, are still married. I have witnessed the strength and faith this takes. The standing joke is that their marriage has been like 23 minutes……. (pause, thinking, what a sweet thing to say….) under water. Perhaps humor has helped in their journey together.

Their work ethic- taught through their actions and words.

The homemade dinners - together and at times chaotic, at our kitchen table, as often as everyone’s individual schedule allows.

Their love and support - when I make mistakes they are there for me, with guidance, not always gentle I might add, to help me as I admit and accept responsibility for my choices.

Their perspective on life – it is painted with color and it is a never ending journey. New shades and brush strokes are always available, if we look, if we hope, if we try.

Their advice - it is often better to listen than to speak. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and in many cases, there is no right or wrong answer, there are no guarantees in life. It is not our place to judge what others see and believe.

Their faith – in us and our decisions, and above all, God.

Thanks Mom and Dad for teaching and exposing me to the concept of subjectivity, for giving me the confidence to make decisions and for your understanding that I am doing the best I can. Thanks for the love, respect and guidance while I try and figure out where I belong in this world.

7 Comments:

At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Maryann said...

Unrelated to this post, www.daily-meditations.org offes a brief daily meditation based on the day's readings. The meditation can be received via e-mail with a few clicks to enroll. I find the meditations short enought that I can usually remember the main theme for the day. I can start my day with a few minutes of reflection and carry the theme in my mind for the day. I suppose it is a version of our culture of 7-11 convenience, but anything reminding us of our daily job to serve the Lord is, in my opinion, worth the post ane the few minutes it takes to read.

 
At 8:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone just told me that Ash Wedsnesday is NOT a Holy Day of Obligation. I had no idea- all these years I thought it was. Has it never been one or did something change? I'm wondering if I'm incorrect about other dates as well...

 
At 8:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now I find out that Holy Thursday isn't one either. I guess b/c I went to Catholic school and we celebrated Mass on those days, I had always assumed they were days of obligation. I never thought to question it. I'd go either way, for even if they aren't obligatory, they are important- but it can be funny what you grow up thinking/believing without even questioning.

 
At 7:39 PM, Blogger Daisy said...

I think it is so beautiful when a husband and wife acknowledge their differences and rely on their faith in God to get through difficult situations. I think this shows that they know God is in charge of their marriage and through faith and prayer will they keep the marriage holy and stay together. They clearly understand that Holy Matrimony is a union made by God in that "...they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

 
At 2:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon,

To my knowledge, you are correct, Ash Wednesday and Holy Thursday are not Holy Days of Obligation, and have not been for a long, long time. And just like you said, isn’t it fumy how when we are young, we just go with the flow, taking certain things for granted, assuming they are simply part of the routine of life? Being young is wonderful,(well, maybe not the teen years). When you’re young, life is great and you happily carry on from day to day, with few worries, while being molded by surrounding words and actions. Hopefully, our youth are surrounded by loving words and actions.

Getting back to the Holy Days of Obligation concept, I would have thought, somewhere during religion class, one of your teachers would have addressed and discussed them with the class. But to be non-judgmental, perhaps they were discussed and you were simply experiencing an episode of selective hearing; the kind we all have from time to time.

You mentioned that you went to mass regardless, unaware of any special reason, and never really thinking to ask. Looking back, even though you weren’t sure what Saint or special day was being celebrated, you probably got something out of the hour, even if it was to sit still, to not talk and to pay attention! As FG mentioned in mass, when we wake up every morning, our most important job is to walk out of our home with Jesus first and foremost in our mind, allowing Him to guide our foot steps in a rhythm He approves. (Sorry FG, but my kid would first have to brush his teeth.) Following right along on the same theme, Father Mike, with his “Wash Away your Sins”, lilac scented hand wash soap, jokingly stated, “If it were only that easy.”

Yes, we need to know the rituals and Saints, the Holy Days of Obligation, the specific prayers, but is that the most important thing about being a Catholic Christian? Knowledge is great, but I would think actions would speak louder.

And anon, don’t worry; I spelled the word forty as “fourty” well into my early thirties. My checks still got cashed. I too must have had an episode of selective hearing during that spelling test!

 
At 7:07 AM, Anonymous mindy said...

Someone in another post talked about how easy it is to get a divorce but didn't mention how easy it is to get married. It’s funny, when you really think about it, because marriage for so many is one of many goals we have from a very young age- graduate high school, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. These goals require planning, preparation and study in order for them to ever come to pass, except for the two big ones- marriage and kids. Now, having a successful marriage and raising healthy kids does require those things, but who talks about that? I went to an all girl Catholic high school, and I do not remember, ever once, anyone talking to us about what it would take to have that part of our lives work. I agree that parents are key in they development of healthy objectives in this regard, but when more than half of married couples divorce, it can be hard for kids to learn how to make a plan for creating a healthy marriage with no model in easy sight.

I know the Catholic church has Pre-Cana classes, and that mated with the some direct and provoking questions from an involved pastor are great- but often both of those things aren’t in place for all. I don’t even know what other faiths require and/or suggest in terms of marriage preparation. It seems to me, that some kind of a focus on these kinds of important life choices should be part of a discussion that begins at a young age, most especially in Catholic education.

 
At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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